Are they on crack? House hunting in Charleston

I am fairly certain that there's a special circle of hell reserved for real estate agents. Not MY real estate agent, who is a friend and who will probably just end up in limbo or do a short bid in purgatory. No, I'm talking about all of those sellers' agents we called to see houses before we got wise. Here are some of my favorite quotes from those showings:

"House prices are going up!" (in the midst of the bailout and Madoff scandal)

"Yes, the house has no heating system or central air but they've been using a plug-in gas heater for years!" (for sale for $350K)

"Are you from Charleston?" (sussing out how well we know the iffy neighborhood we're looking in). "Oh," (disapointed-looking), "you know it's 'up and coming,' then."

"Everyone who has looked at this house has put an offer on it, but it hasn't been enough for the owner" (a house that's now up for auction...)

That's just a sprinkling of the palmetto bug droppings we've had to listen to over the past several months, until I saw my otherwise gracious husband become increasingly abrupt (read: rude) during these house showings.

So, I'm led to wonder, what ARE you paying for when you buy a house in Charleston for under $400K?

1. Lousy public schools (is an "excellent" school in Charleston rated against the performance of schools nationally or SC schools? Because if it's the latter, talk about shifting a curve to the left!)

2. Brick ranch houses. Make them stop, please. I don't mind a brick ranch on a nice hilly road. I mind a flat house on a flat road in a flat county.

3. Street names like, "Robert E. Lee Blvd.," "Secessionville Rd.," and "Rebels Camp" (or something like that)

4. Slash and burn developments. And/or developments that are named and have an HOA and an ARB to monitor the owner's vinyl siding color selection. These developments are likely have an "e" at the end of them: "Olde Magnolia Farms." They are not likely to be old, have any magnolias, or be in the vicinity of a working farm (though I'm sure they're old plantation land, so I'll give them that!).

my favorite and least favorite restaurants in CHS

Anybody who is familiar with Charleston restaurant scene knows which are the top-10 restaurants so I'm going to skip those unless I really like them. Here are the restaurants I like and why (in no specific order):

Samos - I love everything about it, especially the lounge.

Rue de Jean - great pommes frites and mashed potatoes, nice atmosphere (lively)

Santi's - solid Mexican food, really nice staff, easy parking

Pane e Vino - cozy (food is nothing special but it's not expensive either)

Mistral (x3): good french onion soup and a GREAT brass band on Fridays (the musicians sitting on the piano look like the old guys from the muppets). BUT their other food really varies in quality depending on who's cooking that night (I won't name names, but let me put it this way - I call first to check). But the band makes it worth it.

McCrady's - yes, everyone likes McCrady's, but it's just so good I have to mention it.

Trattoria Lucca - people complain about the noise but when I was there (seated at one of the tables with cushions), I didn't notice it. The family dinner is tasty, though they do rush you (or at least they did when it was brand new).

Moe's Crosstown - skip the burger and go straight for the "Extraordinary BLT." I just wish the TVs were better for football-watching, but it's not a sports bar, so that's not their problem.

Daily Dose - burritos are amazing, people are very nice, quick to get to from MUSC for lunch


My least favorite restaurants (that other people seem to like):

Fleet Landing - great view but food is pretty poor. I only go for drinks when I have guests in town (nice view of Cooper river).

Poe's - I just don't get it. It's too busy, it's too noisy and yet people love it...

The circular restaurant on the top floor of the Holiday Inn (West Ashley) - I've been there for brunch several times because of the view. They are exceptionally rude (and clearly I'm a glutton for punishment).

Chai's - is it me, or does everyone look like a jackass in that place? I don't even remember the food, it might be good.

Tea at the Thoroughbred Club - what happened to mounds of watercress sandwiches at tea? Is providing three sandwiches and a lot of sweets a new trend (this poor showing happened at the Ritz in Boston as well)? I say ditch the scones, folks, and bring on the de-crusted triangles! Yes, the sandwiches may be dainty but I still want to stuff my face with them!

what I'm doing here...

Basically, I'm creating this blog to share profundities like, "Why is Laguardia the only airport in the country that doesn't use touch-free paper towel dispensers?" and other similar observations I make as I trip along in the world. I guess another goal is to share with possibly likeminded (or at least interested) others who are also learning to adjust to living in the bizarro world of Charleston, South Carolina. I know there are others out there like me (we usually confess after a few drinks), who came for work/spouse's work and are incredulous that they've landed here, and are trying to figure out how to succeed emotionally as a reluctant transplant.

So, the Charleston thing was the impetus for writing this blog. I've realized that I think and talk about my thoughts on this issue much too often for my friends and family to tolerate with good humor and so I need another outlet. I probably won't even talk about Charleston too much since I've created a fairly insulated lifestyle from the things that drive me nuts. So besides the occasional "wtf???" regarding ole chazz, this blog will probably focus on other things I am interested in like (1) politics/news/culture issues, (2) commentary a la the LGA question above, (3) chatty cathy stuff about family, work, marriage, etc., and (4) restaurant reviews of Charleston (I eat out a lot and one good thing about CHS is its restaurants).

Thanks for reading!